His Porn Will Change You: Should I Hold Him Accountable?

Posted by | November 16, 2015 | Balance, Pastors' Wives | No Comments
Woman on laptop

It seems that pornography has gone on a rampage and even among our pastors and Christian leaders. Our society pushes it through TV commercials, ads, billboards and the internet making it so accessible. Not that any of this justifies it; I am just saying everyone needs to have safety nets in place and an accountability person to ask the hard questions before this sin enters into their life, because it is everywhere.

I want to share a few paragraphs from an article from Covenant Eyes that I believe every woman needs to read:

Being the spouse of a reformed (or struggling) porn addict is more complex emotionally than many of us realize at first. Even when your husband is trying to pursue purity and both of you are rebuilding trust in your marriage, it’s still tough. First, you were betrayed, then there may have been a confrontation, anger, tears, and insecurities. Now, you are trying to move forward, but as a supportive spouse, you may be in a tough position.

Whether or not you are his Accountability Partner, it can be tempting to enter into your husband’s world a bit and view exactly what he’s viewing. If your husband and you have decided as a couple that you’ll receive regular reports of his activity, you necessarily will be revisiting these feelings of fear, distrust and betrayal. Yet, your husband needs someone to be accountable to and not every man has someone else besides their wife they feel like they can trust.

But then comes the dilemma that many wives face: “Do I do more than just check the accountability report? Do I actually see where those reported links lead?” For some women, it’s quite the temptation to figure out not only if her husband is struggling, but exactly what he is watching/viewing.

You may think that “knowing everything” your husband is up to will help the situation, but I’m here to tell you that viewing his porn stash will change you.

Click here to read the entire article on CovenantEyes.com

Please encourage your husband to put safety nets in place before he falls into this sin, or if your husband is already dealing with this sin, please apply what this article is recommending to you as the wife, and what you should or should not do.

About Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for 39 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

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