Help! I’m Married to My Pastor

By Patti Johnson

People think they know…WE think we know…the life of being married to a pastor…the life of being married to “my” pastor.

I am very comfortable with this thought and I try by best to carry it out… “If I don’t see my husband as my pastor as well as my husband, then just WHO is my pastor?” It has been well worth my time to reconcile this and to communicate it to other ministry wives like you as well.

There are times in a pastor and pastor’s wife life that are well defined. And then there are times when the lines are blurred, the expectations are elevated, there are no rules, regulations, guard rails, or road signs. There is just you and your husband/pastor, and you are feeling like you are “off roadin” this life. Except that it was God who put you both on this road and it is He who is leading you both along this road.

That’s when a book like “Help! I’m Married to My Pastor” is such a delight to find.

Jani Ortlund takes us through the stages of discovery and disappointment and despair but helps us see the clear privilege we have in this role.

Jani writes “However you got here, you have joined that special group known as “ministry wives”. Could I be your friend? Could we share a few hours together delighting in the joys and privileges of becoming one with a man set apart to lead the church of the living God? And may I bear with you some of the unique strains that flow from your calling in life as we look to the one who called us all?”

Jani takes us on a journey of her own through stories and lessons learned. She touches on the parts of life that touch ours. Romance, Church Expectations, Home Responsibilities, Emotional and Spiritual concerns for one another…and the list goes on.

Throughout the book she speaks to us, the ministry wife and then adds a sweet note of encouragement to our husbands, “my” pastor. She sees through the “what others think they know” and speaks to what she and we do know.

Her words encourage us to see this as a good calling, one called to walk through life as a ministry wife fully knowing that God has planned this life for us.

Take Jani up on her offer. Let her be your friend through her words on the pages.

Settle in to be understood, encouraged, challenged, and celebrated.

About Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

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