I Don’t Measure Up

Posted by | October 14, 2019 | Balance, Expectations, Pastors' Wives | No Comments

How many times have we as pastors’ wives felt like we don’t measure up? Whether we feel we don’t measure up to others’ expectations or even our own, it can be an ongoing battle in our minds. I want to share a blog from a pastor’s wife that I believe will bless you on this topic.

I look at some pastors’ wives and think, it must be nice to have it altogether. It must be nice to be such a great wife and mother. It must be nice to have such a thriving church and ministry. It must be nice to have such obedient, dedicated kids. It must be nice to look so nice.

A few years ago I went to a meeting to help plan a retreat with several other pastors’ wives. It was at a church campground and when I got there the other PWs were in dresses. Me, being me, said, “Wow, I thought this was just a casual get together at the camp.” In my mind the one who seemed to have it the most together, (you know the perfect PW) said, “Well, Christy, you know we must be ready in season and out of season.” Hmmm? Well, I thought I was ready. Ready to plan a retreat. Ready to be used by God. Even, ready to meet Jesus. I just wasn’t ready to feel like I didn’t measure up.

Have you ever felt that way? Like you just didn’t measure up or make the cut? Oh, boy, I have many many times. I look at myself and see what I lack and then I look at others and think they have it all together and I don’t. And I can really get in the “beat myself up” mode. Too often we compare ourselves to other women and conclude that we aren’t good enough or we don’t measure up. See, I’m that one who’s so imperfect, I can’t even pretend to have it all together. It’s just not possible for me.

That’s when I have to stop looking at myself, my issues and what I think I lack. I have to put aside how I feel about myself and even what others may think of me and remind myself that I am absolutely loved and chosen by God and if the God of the universe accepts and loves me (and He does) then what else matters?

If I am ever to live a life of meaning and purpose, I have to let go of my feelings and what others think of me and let this truth sink in and rest in my heart, that I am God’s girl, handpicked, chosen and set apart! No, I’m not perfect. No, I may not do and say everything right. Yes, I may open mouth and insert foot. But I am trying. I’m not giving up and I’m not pretending. I have to repent daily and cling to Jesus and His promises. I have to put what God says over my thoughts and feelings and I have to believe that I am good enough, mistakes and all.

Someone gave me this reminder last year and I try to read it daily. It says, “Because of Christ’s redemption, I am a new creation of great worth. I am deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing, totally accepted by God and absolutely complete in Christ.”

In John 15:16, Jesus says, “You have NOT chosen Me, but I HAVE chosen you.” Guess what? My value comes from God, not from people and not even from me and what I do or don’t do. And I measure up. I do! And you do too! Don’t you think it’s time to stop believing the lies and start believing God? I do!

— Christy

Sometimes we as pastors’ wives are just as guilty as anyone else of believing Satan’s lies. I pray you will take to heart what Christy shared today and remember, you are God’s girl!

About Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

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