I want to talk to you about a subject that is becoming more and more prevalent in the Christian community, even among pastors. A large portion of pastors that we come alongside of here at Care for Pastors are struggling with pornography. It is a scheme of Satan to distract us as Christians.
If you, your husband, and children do not have a filter on your cell phones, computers, iPad, etc. please consider going to Covenant Eyes and subscribing HERE. They have a very reasonable subscription for the entire family. Your family is worth the cost!
Covenant Eyes has great articles and blogs on their website addressing the issue of pornography, and I want to share a portion of one of those so you can see how accessible it is and what it does to our minds.
Porn Shapes our Sexual Beliefs
- Watching porn decreases our sexual satisfaction. It trains us to desire the variety and “designer sex” of porn more than the familiar sexuality of marriage.
- Watching porn disconnects us from real relationships. It trains us to detach emotional involvement from sexual experience.
- Watching porn lowers our view of women. It trains us to see women as sexual commodities, not people created in God’s image.
- Watching porn desensitizes us to cruelty. It numbs us to the seriousness of verbal and physical aggression.
- Watching porn makes us want to watch more porn. It taps into the neurocircuitry of our brains, making us desire the rush of sexual energy from porn again and again.
For those who have been entrenched in pornography, how do we reverse these mind-warping effects? How do we renew our minds (Romans 12:1-2)?
Five Biblical ways to renew the Mind
- We must walk in accountability where we can share our darkest secrets and be reminded of our highest calling. To walk in the Spirit, we must confess our sins to each other, pray for each other, and stir up one another to live according to our true identity.
- We must internalize scripture, the inspired words of the Spirit. To walk in the Spirit, we need to renovate our thoughts according to the truths He has revealed, rejecting the lies pornography has fed us.
- We must walk in pure pleasure, taking great delight in holy and wholesome longings—finding pleasure in all that is honorable, pure, lovely, and excellent. To walk in the Spirit, we need to pursue pure pleasures with sincere gratitude until pornography loses its luster.
- We must walk in our true identity, listening to the cry of the Spirit in our hearts, “Abba, Father,” which confirms our new identity. To walk in the Spirit, we need to learn to relate to God, from the depths of our soul, as dearly loved adopted sons and daughters, believing that we belong to God and that our ties to sin are broken forever.
- We must stir up the hope the Spirit inspires in us—the hope of righteousness. To walk in the Spirit, we need to wait eagerly for this hope, putting faith in God’s promises that we are destined for an eternity of purity, and longing to that purity spill over into our present lives.
I would encourage you to go to Covenant Eyes and read the resources they have. If you think your husband may be having an issue with pornography, encourage him to reach out to us and let us help him break this stronghold.
Remember if your husband deals with pornography or has dealt with it, it has nothing to do with you not being good enough; it is a sin problem in his heart that he needs to deal with. I know it is difficult for many people to wrap their minds around that pastors can get caught up in this stronghold. We must remember we as pastors’ wives and pastors are just as human as the person sitting in the pew. But it is a stronghold that must be broken! Pornography is becoming more prevalent in the circle of women as well, so it is not just a male problem.