Do you ever find yourself asking the question, “What does my ministry look like?” Do you ever feel like you are a shadow in your husband’s ministry? Or do you ever feel you are not important or always overlooked? Do you feel you are always trying to please people?
If you answered yes to any or all of those questions, you are not alone. We as pastors’ wives have a hard job. We can become so frustrated with all the expectations put on us that we could scream. We allow others to put those unrealistic expectations on us, and at times we put unrealistic expectations on ourselves.
God did not intend for ministry to be that way for us. He has a calling on your life as much as He does for your husband. That calling just looks different. And it will be different in the different stages of life we go through. Yes, you are called to be your husband’s help-mate, but God also has a ministry for you to do outside of just being the pastor’s wife.
If you are frustrated with knowing who you are in ministry, can I suggest you sit down in a quiet place and ask God to still your heart and mind and ask Him to show you what He has for you? You are more than just the “pastor’s wife.”
Your stage right now may be with young children and your priority has to be them; therefore, your ministry is very limited. That is okay. Just make sure you know what that ministry looks like and you are not spreading yourself too thin or getting your priorities out of whack.
You may be past the small child rearing stage and have teenagers, so you can be a little more involved in ministry. Again, I would suggest you make sure you are involved in the ministry God wants you to be involved in and not what everyone else expects you to be doing.
Maybe your children are all grown or you don’t have children and you can be involved as much as your heart desires. I will say it once again; do what God has called you to do, not what everyone else calls you to do.
Ministry should be a joy not a drudgery. My prayer for you is that you will allow God to use you in the area(s) He wants and you will do it with a joyful heart, all while enjoying being your husband’s helpmate. That is a very important role and our number one ministry. But it doesn’t mean we have to be the shadow of his ministry.